OH, THE HORROR!!!!!

This is what Cody and I had to deal with today. It's a great story...

So we bought a trailer for a pretty good price and went to Home Depot to get some paint and other things so we could get this baby rented out by Monday. We lug all the bags up to the front door of the trailer and unlock it. My first thought is, "Oh excellent! The AC does work. This won't be so bad now." The next thing I notice is how the floors and walls seem to be moving (shudder).
We brought one small jug of Home Defense spray with us. Silly, I know. As my mom stated on the phone "A trailer and bugs in the south just go together." Well, we put on our gloves and took a quick scan around. I got to work on spraying the kitchen while Cody got a garbage bag and headed down the hall. I can see things on the floor that aren't moving that I assume is dirt or crumbs, and I can see a few roaches crawling around- not so bad. I aim for those bugs and suddenly all the spots I thought was dirt and crumbs start crawling around scurrying for safety. This makes me squeal and jump back onto the entryway carpet which shifts a bit and MORE come pouring out from under there. I ran to the safety of the wood floors in the living room clutching the handle of a broom and the sprap bottle ready to squash anything that comes near me. That's when I turn and see a monstrous spider trying to blend in to the baseboard. It got scared when I screamed and jumped a little which made me do the run-in-place-and-flail-arms-while-screaming. I yelled to Cody "WHAT KIND OF SPIDER IS THIS?!?!" and he replied "PROBABLY THE SAME KIND THAT IS BACK HERE!"
He then surfaced next to me and squashed my spider nemesis. Then he took the spray bottle from me and started to hose down the kitchen some more. Meanwhile,I am getting light headed and feeling like I might faint, but the only thing stopping me is the the thought that if I did faint, I would be right next the creepy crawlies. SO I ran outside and leaned against the railing on the porch. Unfortunately, underneath the railing was a wasp nest, so I had to fight those too. Then I held back tearsand put my head between my legs so the blood would flow back to my brain.
My dear, sweet, wonderful husband came out to me and told me I should go to Home Depot to get some bug bombs while he stayed and kept spraying. I would have kissed him then if he wasn't standing so close to the door to the bug palace.
Instead I abandoned my weapons and ran to the car, making sure to check my hair, pants, shoes, and other crevices for any sign of stowaway bugs. Then I booked it out of there. I got to Home Depot, grabbed two boxes of bug bombs and some RAID, as well as a FOCUS Vitamin Water (I was going to need all the help I could get). When I got back, I slowly climbed the steps and took some deep breaths to prepare for going inside. Just then, Cody comes booking it out and shuts the door behind him. He is pale, sweaty, and a little intense looking. "You do NOT want to go in there."
Now, I am the wuss in this marriage. I cannot stand bugs. No matter what type except for butterflies and lady bugs as long as they don't land on me or come in my house. Cody tolerates things very well and can handle buggy situations. So this startled me a bit and made me feel queasy all over again.
I asked what happened and he said he had been spraying bugs the whole time I was gone (30 minutes), and that he just had a boss fight with the biggest roach he has ever seen.
He was standing in the kitchen spraying bugs when something caught his attention down the hallway. He squinted and looked and wondered why there was a bird in the trailer flying towards him. He stepped around the bar counter and went towards it to see if he could let it out, when he realized it was not a bird at all but a big, huge, nasty, cockroach that has no earthly business being that huge. Needless to say he pulled out the bug spray and shot it down. It was a hefty thing and seemed to
have a vendetta against Cody for killing off it's family members because it just kept on coming at him...literally it went right for him. And just like in the alien and bug movies, it died just as it got to him. Barely. I saw it. I saw the corpse of the largest cockroach I have ever seen. It was hideous to behold.
We set off bug bombs, drove home, and showered.
And now we can't quit shuddering.