Busy, Busy Dreadfully Busy

Alright, I have updated to this new blogger layout. It may or may not be a smooth transition. We will see. 

Late at night, when all the world is sleeping, (you totally sang Selena, didn't you?), I have all these incredible thoughts come pouring into my mind. At least they seem incredible to me. I think brilliant things like exactly why I'm against abortion, and why I am for Proposition 8. These are things I can't seem to articulate very well in everyday life. Probably because if I am defending these opinions, someone is really, really mad at me and my existence. 
But that's not what I want to talk about. Last night, I had a song pop into my head from Atrion's veggietales CD. It's called "Busy, Busy". And it makes me sad.
Here are the lyrics and a link to the song, because it's fun to listen to:


Archibald (Mayor): I'm busy, busy, dreadfully busy
You've no idea what I have to do.
Busy, busy, shockingly busy
Much, much too busy for you.
Larry: Oh, I see.


Archibald and Doctor: We're busy, busy, dreadfully busy
You've no idea what we have to do.
Busy, busy, shockingly busy
Much, much too busy for you.


'Cause we're busy, busy, frightfully busy
More than a bumblebee, more than an ant.
Busy, busy, horribly busy
We'd love to help, but we can't!


Archibald: Ta ta!

Another things that happens to me late at night is the guilt. I ask myself "Did I spend enough time with Atrion?", "Did I help anyone who needed it?", "I didn't call my mom or dad. How will they know I love them?". Things like that. Usually I say a good prayer and vow to do better the next day, but then the hustle and bustle of daily life gets in the way and I find myself staring wide-eyed at the ceiling in the dark weeping inwardly about not teaching my son how to count to 50 or read. Or his last name. He can't seem to nail that one down. 


Now, I know I need to give myself a break. Atrion is smart and I teach him lots of things, we read every night, we go to lots of places, he tries new things, we pray and play together. There, see, I am a good mom. But, why are we all so freaking busy?! That's what I want to know. That's the point I am taking an excruciatingly long time to make.


I try not to be a busy person, by choice. I don't work out of the home. This is a big sacrifice because apparently we are living in poverty. Doesn't really feel like it since I am quite comfortable, and we are too well fed. The poverty line is, for a family of four, $22,318.00 or something like that. I figure for a family of three we are probably just under the line. All our bills are paid so that makes a huge difference. Whoa...tangent again. It must be this new blogger setup.


I wrote on my wall the title to a beloved hymn "Have I Done Any Good In the World Today?". How can I do good, if I am so busy, busy, terribly busy? How can I make time for others if I am so focused on me and getting "my" stuff done. The sad thing is, sometimes I am "busy" doing nothing at all. Like browsing Pinterest, or playing a game, or watching a show, or not showering and sitting in my pajamas all day. Sometimes I am anxiously engaged in a good cause (which is different from busy), but mostly I am puttering around the house cleaning this or that, avoiding getting the play dough out because it inevitably gets all over my freshly washed table top and nice clean floors. 

Meanwhile Atrion wants me to play with him. I made it my goal to not be busy when he wants me to play. It was actually quite exhausting because, as it turns out, he just wants to play all day. Imagine that. So that didn't work. So, I made a new goal with Cody that I would spend an hour in the day playing with Atrion and he would spend an hour in the evening playing with Atrion. This is just pure play...whatever Atrion wants to do, you do it. Build a fort, hide and go seek, blocks, puzzles, cars...all of the above. Cody is more creative with him but I think I am more silly. (I invented a whoopie cushion hiding game. Purty durned hilarious. I stopped maturing socially at the 8th grade level, by the way.)

As it turns out, there is a lot of time in the day. If your day is too short, just try entertaining a two year old for an hour with no technology. He's riding around on my back wanting me play horsie. My poor knees hurt and the floor is hard. And it's only been 5 minutes. Why is it so hard for me to play? I am better at "entertaining". "Here have cookies and we can sit in this fort and watch a fun show and make shadow puppets". But playing is hard. Hopefully it will get easier as he gets older and play evolves into shooting things and doing karate chops. I am good at that. For now, the farting noises have taken the "fun factor" up a notch. (In case you missed my facebook status, and for future reference, I bought a whoopie cushion. It inflates itself! Kids these days have it so easy.)

Shortened version of this blog: STOP BEING SO BUSY!!