Caius's Birth Story

My memories of being pregnant with Atrion are perhaps a bit skewed because I don't remember it being as hard as it was with Caius. I just never felt well and I hurt ALL the time. I also had a lot of anxiety. In the beginning, the anxiety was about having a miscarriage and towards the end it was about the labor process. Atrion's birth was a bit traumatic for me so I was very worried about the pain and if I would be able to handle it or if I would break down and have a panic attack mid delivery.

I gained 25 lbs while pregnant which was right on track. When May rolled around I felt smaller than I did with Atrion even though I weigh more now. I just didn't feel as bloaty and puffy and huge. Even though I was still pretty huge.

May was the longest month ever! It felt like it would never end. My friends and my cousin had their babies (all came early). I was fed up with being pregnant and just wanted my baby here. Finally June came and on the 10th I had my weekly visit. I asked my midwife to check me to see if I was progressing at all since I had been having contractions irregularly. Those checks hurt! And apparently my cervix was tilted down or something because she couldn't get to it without it being very painful. Blech. I was not dilated or effaced at all. My cervix was soft...which was something, I guess. She told me to come back on Thursday to check again and do a membrane sweep. Thursday was the 13th and the 14th was my due date, so I was okay with that. I went home and looked up membrane sweeping and almost backed out of the appointment. If the cervical check felt that horrible I couldn't imagine what that would do to me. 

Cody was working grave shifts the whole week and at 3 am on the 13th I was wide awake again having mild contractions. Very irregular and they eventually stopped, but I was able to chat with Cody and we joked that he would get off his grave shift and I would go into labor and he would have to be awake for 32 hours. Thankfully that didn't happen. Kathy drove me to my appointment and I was dilated one whole centimeter! Woohoo! So Nicole, my midwife who delivered Atrion, did the membrane sweep, which hurt a lot but not as bad as I thought it would plus it was quick. She assured me that I would probably have this baby before the weekend was over. She was on call that weekend too so I would have her to deliver my baby again, which was cool. 

After the appointment, Kathy and I stopped at Walmart to get a few things and I started feeling all crampy. I walked as much as I could just to see if that sped things up. It did make me tired, that's for sure. On the drive home (which is about a 35-40 minute drive) I started having contractions about every 7-10 minutes. I was thinking that the sweeping wouldn't work and that I would be overdue about a week, so it was surprising to me when the contractions didn't stop and they got more intense and closer together. I crawled into bed next to Cody and took a good 2 hour nap. Then I woke up at 3 and started timing the contractions again. I woke Cody up at 4 and he showered and got ready to go. I got our bags packed and we headed to the hospital. It wasn't until about halfway there that I started feeling really miserable. 

 I was waiting just inside the hospital for Cody to park the car and people were walking by and asking if I was okay and if I needed a chair. I was like, "Nah, I'm good....just having a baby."

I was expecting a lot of deterrents in getting my epidural started because with Atrion it seemed like they really didn't want to give it to me. I had to ride around in the car forever until I was 4 centimeters dilated and then go back and get checked. This time, though, I wizened up and just went straight to labor and delivery after talking with Nicole. 

They got everything rolling to start the epidural process...blood work, IV, paper work...that sort of thing. Leah was my nurse. She was really nice, but seemed a bit tired, or grumpy or something. Nicole was with another patient at the time so the nurse strapped me to the monitors and put me in bed. On my back. So I started having back labor. Which sucks bad. Finally, Nicole came in and saved me from the bed. She got me a ball and her and Cody massaged my back, which felt amazing. And then....the anesthesiologist appeared and saved me. With Atrion, I could still feel almost everything and move my legs about with the epidural so it was not totally painless and when I had to start pushing I could feel everything. But with this epidural I felt nothing. I couldn't move my legs which was sooo weird. Probably the weirdest sensation ever. At one point the nurse dropped my leg off the side of the bed and that made me laugh because I couldn't feel it or lift it back up. 

The only downside to this is that it makes my anxiety build up. I feel trapped a bit and then I feel the side effects of the meds which I hate. I avoid taking anything that gives me any sort of side effects...even Benadryl  sometimes because it makes me sleepy and that freaks me out. Thankfully, Cody was there and talked me through everything. He is amazing and I love him so much. After they moved me to my sides and broke my water I started feeling nauseous and a bit dizzy. I was able to snooze on and off for awhile. Cody was able to eat dinner. And finally I was dilated to an 8 and they called the midwife back in. By the time she got there I could feel lots of pressure and it was getting unbearable. I either needed to push or have my epidural upped. I pressed the button for more meds but it didn't do anything so the anesthesiologist came and gave me a blissful shot to speed up the numbing process. Nicole came in and I pushed for about a half hour, but Caius's head was above my cervix so she suggested we stop and move me back to my sides alternatively every 10 minutes to see if he will drop lower. I started feeling more nauseous, but after I threw up it went away. And I think throwing up actually helped him drop more. Good thing orange jello was the only thing in my stomach because it tastes about the same going up as it does going down. 

At 11:30 pm she came back and he had dropped to -2 station. I pushed for 15 minutes and it was coming along nicely so they called the NICU and got gowned up. I couldn't feel anything but slight pressure and it felt so good to push. I could feel when he was crowning, but I didn't feel like I was going to die. It was so nice. At 11:59 pm on the 13th of June baby Caius was born and placed in my arms. He was so sweet! He was also so dark! Like purply red dark. Like a prune almost. It scared me. I didn't see him come out but Cody and Nicole said he came out with his hand on his neck which is why it took so long for him to come out. It also impaired his ability to get oxygen or something, so they had to take him straight over to the heating bed and suction him out and all that. I just stared over at the corner of the room the whole time checking to see if he pinked up and worrying what the beeps and alarms were signaling. Nicole sewed me up , delivered the placenta and then I finally got to hold my baby again. His little hands and feet were blue but the rest of him was good. He latched on right away. 

He seemed so much smaller than Atrion who weighed 8 lbs 15 oz and measured 22 1/2 inches. Caius weighed  8 lbs 14 oz and was 21 inches. I love my boys. 

So breastfeeding kind of sucks (no pun intended...okay, sort of intended). Luckily Cody is a great support. So is Laura and Julie who gave me hope that I could get through the soreness and cracks and wanting to cry at every feeding. It's only been a week and there has been a wondrous change. It still hurts, but not as bad. We are supplementing a couple of bottles each day. I am not sure if it's because Caius has an insatiable tummy or I'm just not making enough, but I have to take a break every so often to keep my sanity. And to take a nap while someone else feeds him. 

The hospital stay was great. The rooms are nice and they do room service for both mommy and "guest" so we got three good meals a day while we were there. 

Being home has been nice. I have a lot of help and Cody doesn't go to work until about 1:30 pm so I have time in the morning to catch up on sleep. Atrion has been playing a lot with his cousins and Grammy and having lots of dad time. He is adjusting pretty well I think. He has been acting out in small ways but that's to be expected. He loves Caius, which is the most important thing. 

It's also been hard. I cry every time Cody has to go to work. I cry thinking about him going to work before he goes to work. I cry talking about him being at work. I want to cry typing this. It's weird. I am not sure why that's a huge trigger for me, but I miss my husband. He's my best friend and the best husband and father.  Hopefully my hormones will balance out and I won't cry at the drop of a hat any more. 

I love Caius so much. He is so squishy and soft and smoochable. He looks like Cody and Atrion. I am so grateful I get to love on this boy and be his mother. I have two amazing sons and couldn't be more blessed. It's easy to wish this first month away just trying to get through the sleepless nights, messy diapers, and feeding every two hours, but this is such a sweet, tender time and I love every moment with him. 

I'm excited for our future. Now that Cody and I are both out of school and he is working full time, I feel like we can move forward again. 

We are planning to have him blessed on the first Sunday in August, I believe. It's a busy summer so it;s hard to pin point an exact date where can have the most people.