I am about 14-16 weeks along. The reason the number is vague is because the ultrasound tech said that baby was a week ahead of what the midwives said I was at, and so I never got a clarification on whether they are keeping the original due date or what. I will though. I'm just too lazy to call.
Just a few nights ago I felt the baby kick. It was actually more of a somersault. I have felt several smaller flutters since then but nothing as big as that first movement. It was wonderful. Up until now I have actually had a rather rough pregnancy. The ups and downs that hormones bring made me super depressed and mopey and grumpy. I was also diagnosed with H. Pylori and had to take antibiotics, as well as going off of my anxiety medication due to really bad side effects.
After moving back from Memphis I was really happy to be home. I was loving the beautiful Idaho weather. Unfortunately, Cody's job fell through, as I mentioned previously, so we had to move in with his parents in Pingree while he works and finishes he degree at ISU. It all sort of changed when my cousin Mikey died in October. While I was visiting family before the funeral I realized I was pregnant and a test confirmed it. I was so happy. We have been wanting a baby for so long. I was also worried because of the miscarriage last time. I was about 4 weeks along when I found out. Then at about 6 weeks, the morning sickness hit as well as some serious anxiety. I had a major panic attack and it took weeks to recover from that. I was shaky and nervous almost all the time, feeling like I was heading towards certain destruction. I felt scared that I was going to miscarry again and even if I didn't I would have to go through excruciating labor. I kind of wished that I wasn't pregnant. It's hard to exactly describe what I was feeling because it doesn't completely make sense. When I was going through it I knew it was not my actual thoughts. I knew that I wanted a baby, but that something in my brain was making me scared and not allowing me to think straight. I blamed most of it on hormones, but then after prayerful thought and consideration I realized that it was my medication that I recently switched to that was causing adverse side effects. It was making me more nauseous than I already was as well as giving me panic attacks and anxiety. Pretty stupid for an anti-anxiety medication. So I decided to wean off of it...which is a lot harder than it sounds. I am still on a half dose about every three days because otherwise I get monstrous headaches (on top of the pregnancy headaches) and my brain gets all glitchy.
So the anxiety started to fade and I am finally doing good. After the first ultrasound I felt a lot better. They did an ultrasound because they couldn't hear a heartbeat. That's completely normal but I started bawling my eyes out so she made arrangements for me. That's when I got the first picture of my little gummy bear.
The past few days, Cody and I have made more comfortable arrangements in his parents house. I am not longer sharing a bed with a topsy-turvy 3 year old and Cody isn't a bachelor anymore. So we all share a room and also have a living room and bathroom to ourselves. Kathy and Lynn are the most gracious, giving people I know. I don't know what we would do without them. I feel happier and more in control. Hooray!
Here's a list of my aversions:
Eggs
onions
pot roast
oatmeal
And sometimes chocolate...which is weird.
My cravings:
Subway sandwiches
Pickles
Lemons with salt
Avocados
Steak
Rice and Bean burritos
Pasta
Cheesy hot dogs from 5 guys
1 comment:
Oh, congratulations! I am so happy for you. I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were. I am glad things are looking up for you and Cody. I hope your morning sickness goes away soon :)
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